Birthday and Loss

I had my birthday a few days ago. On that day, I wasn’t sure of how I was supposed to feel. Because on the same day, I got two sad news. One from my colleague, another one from my high school friend. They both just lost one of their parents. Throughout the day, I got plenty of birthday wishes and even a little surprise from my colleague who came to office, though they’re supposed to be working from home. They brought doughnuts, sang happy birthday, recorded it and uploaded it to office WhatsApp group. I was happy and thankful for the surprise, but I wasn’t comfortable seeing my birthday video in group, knowing a colleague was having a grieving moment. It feels like lack of empathy.

Later that night, as I was sitting on the edge of my bed, I checked my Instagram and saw stories of my friend’s little sister, whose dad just passed away. One of the stories showed a road ahead as they’re going to the funeral and they sang a church song in the background. I can’t remember the song title, but I remember how they sang it, it’s just full of grief. I know they’re crying as they sang and I was crying as I heard it. I immediately sent her a DM, “deepest condolences yaaa, my heart broke hearing this 😭 take your time for grieving, sending you virtual hugs 🤗” It’s the least I could do. I’ve been in her position and I know there are no words could ease her loss. But I do hope she really is taking her time grieving. It would not be easy to accept the reality that he’s no longer with her or them since her family have strong relationship.

An hour later, she replied my DM, saying thank you and even sent me birthday wishes. I had mixed feelings. She could forget my birthday and I would totally understand as she just lost someone dear to her and surely tired from all of the crying and funeral process. But somehow, she managed to remember, even though I didn’t post anything on my Instagram or other social media account.

At the end of the day, I think it’s how life should be and how society supposed to work. There are ups and downs in our lives. And it’s okay if our ups moments are not happening at the same time as our friends’. One thing to remember, we need to be considerate towards each other. Have empathy to those who are having their downs and be able to celebrate others' milestones as well. Life is always better when we support each other.

Picture source : https://img.freepik.com/free-vector/happy-young-employees-giving-support-help-each-other_179970-427.jpg?size=626&ext=jpg

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